The Soldier Who Came In From the Cold
by goldenEY3
Summary: Overwatch has been recalled to action, but the Second Omnic Crisis is already unfolding. Russia needs Overwatch back in the fight, and to bring them back, they have sent Aleksandra Zaryanova. She is sent to Overwatch to get them to return to the Crisis, but her plans run into a snag when she runs into the mysterious Mei-Ling Zhou.
1. Chapter 1

Papers were shuffled, pens readied and recording queued up. The room was filled with people, but only three of them truly mattered.

"Gentlemen, are we ready?" the President of Russia asked. Flanking him was a team of aides who kept him stocked with reports, and sat ready to take detailed notes, leaving his hands free.

"Yes, Mr. President," the General of the Russian Defense Force said. Like the President, he had a team of aides. Unlike the President, however, he preferred to take his own notes. He had a pad of paper at the ready, already taking shorthand notes.

"Yes, Mr. President," the Admiral of the Russian Navy said. He sat with a pad of paper as well, but let his aides take all the notes for him.

"Then let us begin," the President said. "Overwatch."

A holographic projector spun to life, showing a massive, glasses wearing gorilla.

"This…thing goes by the name Winston," the President said. "Earlier this week, he broke international law, and put out a recall to Overwatch agents around the globe. Our men and women in the FSB tell us that they have already began amassing a large amount of personnel and material.

"This flies in the face of the Petras Act. Just by assembling under the name of 'Overwatch,' they are at risk of being arrested and detained for the rest of their lives. The questions I have are this: why now? Why have they decide to commit international treason, how many people do they have, and what do they plan to do with their…vigilante force?"

"They're a little late to the party, aren't they?" the General of the Russian Defense Force said with a snort. "They're missing out on the Second Omnic Crisis."

"Da, too late," the Admiral of the Navies said. "The Crisis is in full swing. Siberia is burning yet again, and Russia is bleeding."

"That is why I want to know why they have waited until this point to recall their forces," the President said. "What have they gained by letting Russia bear the brunt of the Omnic Crisis? What do they stand to gain?"

"What has the KGB found?" The General said.

"They prefer to be called the 'FSB' now."

"My apologies; old habits die hard," the General said. "What have they found?"

"Nothing, as of yet," the President said. No aid had to give him the files to report that. The President's close connection to his old KGB/ FSB unit was an open secret. They reported directly to him. "The ones who have answered the call to arms are old members of Overwatch. Men and women who have stared down the world while it screamed for their blood. The FSB cannot simply insert agents into them; yet. We are forced to wait for them to accept new blood so we can begin sending agents to their forces."

"And how long will that be?" the General asked. "Russia has already lost fifteen-thousand daughters and sons, and will lose only more as the Crisis continues. We cannot afford to wait for them."

"Perhaps their consciousness got the better of them," the Admiral said. "Overwatch was formed to combat the First Omnic Crisis; perhaps hearing about the Second Crisis was enough to make them remember their glory days and risk the threat of the Petras Act to return to duty."

"That is what we are hoping for," the President said. "But from what our FSB agents have told us, they have launched a few select missions, but not against the Omnics."

"Not against the Omnics?" the Admiral said. "Who could be a bigger threat than the Omnics? Who draws their hate more than the tin cans?"

"From what we can tell, a group called 'Talon.'"

"And who is this 'Talon?'"

"Apparently they believe themselves to be the successor of rogue Blackwatch agents," the President said. "At least, that's what the Talon agent we captured said."

"You have captured one of their members?"

"The mysterious Soldier:76 was on assignment a few days ago, and we were able to grab one," the President smiled.

"Where is he now?" the General said.

"Sadly, he expired from wounds he took from the battle," the President sighed.

"Wounds he got from our soldiers, or Soldier:76?"

"Does it matter?"

The General dramatically, theatrically, stroked his beard.

"No. No, it doesn't. What else was he able to tell us?"

"Not much. He was just a rank and file soldier, a true grunt who knew little of the grand plan, only his part in it."

"A good soldier."

"Da, a good soldier. He was buried with full honors."

"I think we're getting off track," the Admiral said. "Overwatch has returned, but they are fighting human mercenaries? What happened to their legendary hatred for the Omnics? Why have they not come to our aide? We are suffering worse than any other country on the planet."

"Which is why I want to know what their plan is," the President said. "This is why we are here."

No one spoke, but they realized that if the FSB, and by extension the President, were unable to make much headway, a new tactic must be found.

"Before we delve too deep into the credibility of this new Overwatch," the General said, "I think we need to make a statement."

"And what statement would that be?" the Admiral asked.

"By assembling their forces, they are willingly breaking the Petras Act and risk immediate persecution," he said. "I am surprised they have not been forcibly shut down already."

"Your point?" the President asked.

"It was the United Nations that formed Overwatch," he said. He had a plan, and was greatly relishing his chance to explain it. "And it was by their pen stroke that Overwatch was disbanded. But what is the UN? A collection of nations that have decided to work together.

"Gentlemen, we need Overwatch and her soldiers alive and well. We need them to return to their roots as Omnic slayers, the bringers of mechanical death. We cannot have them forcibly shut down and arrested by countries whom have grown soft, fat and lazy since the last Crisis.

"We keep Overwatch alive by withdrawing our support from the Petras Act. And with their future guaranteed by us, they will fight with us."

The room was quiet as everyone digested what the General said. The President was especially quiet; he held on to his perfect poker face.

"Russia _is_ a permanent member of the UN Security Council," he said. "We do hold considerable sway with the council, and many other nations."

"My point exactly, Mr. President. If the UN and the world at large wish to kill Overwatch, they will have to do so without our blessings, and without the blessings of our allies."

"This will also create a haven for them, should the international community decides to act despite us," the President said, realization dawning on him. "If Overwatch were to move to Russian soil, no one would dare send their forces across our borders to arrest them. Yes, I like this idea."

"And when they see what they are missing, they will join us to fight the Omnics once more," the Admiral said.

"My point exactly," the General smiled.

"I will announce our decision to withdraw support from the Petras Act tomorrow," the President said. "But we still need to find out what they are doing, fighting this 'Talon' and not their Omnic enemies."

"That leads to my second idea," the General smiled. "We give them a man."

"Just give one to them? Have them accept one of ours, just like that?"

"As a blessing to them, and to give them a show of our support," the General said. "We can only send one, lest we spook them into believing we are trying to sabotage them. But once they are part of Overwatch, once they are trusted as a true member, they will begin to bring them into the Second Omnic Crisis. We give them a soldier to bolster their ranks, and they give us an ear to whisper into, to make them remember their former glory and duty to the world."

"It sounds like you have been planning on this."

"I have a few ideas I was thinking about, Mr. President," the General said, a twinkle in his eye. "This was the best one I could come up with on such short notice."

"And I dare to assume you have your soldier picked out?"

"That I do. Zaryanova, at attention."

Hearing my name, I stood, took a step forward, and snapped to attention.

"Sir, Aleksandra Zaryanova, reporting for duty," I said, keeping my salute perfect.

"At ease, soldier," the President said. I folded my arms behind my back, but stayed in perfect form. "You were awfully quiet back there."

"Sir, I had nothing meaningful to add, sir."

"What do you think of this plan?"

"Sir, I think the General is quite shrewd and wise. Overwatch is needed, and they are needed on the front, sir."

"How did the General find you? Did you volunteer, or were you chosen?"

"Sir, both. The General was pleased with my skills as a soldier, and having grown up through the First Crisis, I idolized Overwatch. Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Go ahead."

"Sir, this soldier would love the chance to meet her heroes, sir."

"You know you'll be away from the fight."

I told myself I wouldn't hesitate. I promised myself I wouldn't blink. But I ended up doing both.

"Sir, this soldier is aware, sir."

"Then you have a great task presented to you, Zaryanova. You will join Overwatch, and you must steer them into rejoining the Omnic Crisis. The Motherland is depending on you."

"Sir, I will neither let you, nor the Motherland, down," I said, saluting. "Point me in the right direction, sir."


	2. Chapter 2

My first day away from the front. It was strange to get a full night's sleep. No alarms woke me, no men and women screamed for backup to repulse an attack, nothing.

I used to not be able to sleep on planes, but after spending so much time at the front, I found myself suddenly able to knock out anywhere without any trouble. The only thing that woke me was the plane banking as it came in for a landing. It felt strange being the only passenger on this massive cargo plane.

"Don't mean to bother you, but we're coming in for a landing," the pilot called from the cockpit.

"Not a problem," I said. "Just be sure to get back to Siberia as quick as you can."

"Once we gas up, it's wheels up, don't you worry."

"And kill an Omnic for me," I said.

"We will kill five for you," the pilot laughed. The plane bounced as it landed, and it quickly came to a stop. The cargo doors were quick to open; the pilots were used to landing under fire, where speed was everything. You landed quick, you jumped out quick, you took off quick. I unclipped my bags and quickly checked my particle cannon before picking it all up.

The sun was bright, and not just because we were closer to the equator. There wasn't any dust or debris in the air, no signs of battle or of war. Being away from the front felt strange. I knew that out there, the Omnics were getting stronger, and I was here, getting weaker.

That all faded when I saw the men and women standing in front of me.

I couldn't believe it. I was meeting more than my heroes, I was meeting legends. And I would be working with them.

Four people were walking onto the tarmac. Two were women about my age; one looked Middle Eastern, the other obviously European. They walked with an old, gray woman, and an old man with scars on his face was leading them. It took me a second to realize it was Jack Morrison, back from the dead.

"Sir." I dropped my bags, but gently set my cannon down. I also made sure I was speaking English. "Are…are you Commander Jack Morrison?"

"Not so sure I'm a Commander now, but that's me," he said.

Unbelievable. Jack Morrison, in the flesh.

"I didn't know you were alive, sir."

"I've been getting that a lot," he grinned.

"Is that another dead woman there?" I asked, looking at the old woman to his side. Her hair was completely gray, and she wore an eye patch over her right eye. "Begging your pardon, but you resemble Ana Amari."

"That's because I am," the woman smiled. "You'll be working with a lot of ghosts here."

"Ma'am, it's an honor to meet you."

"At ease, soldier. You're not on parade duty, you can relax," Morrison said.

"Thank you, sir. I…I can't believe I'm seeing such legends here."

"Better get used to it, you're our big gift from the Russian Defense Force."

"Yes sir. Aleksandra Zaryanova, reporting for duty."

"Zaryanova, you say?"

"You can call me Zarya, sir. Everyone does."

"Then it's an honor to meet you, Zarya," Morrison said. He offered his hand, and I shook it. This was the man who built Overwatch from the ground up, who saved the world. "We already told your commander over the radio, but we're beyond grateful for Russia's decision to withdraw their support from the Pertas Act. That saved our ass right there. The politicians in the UN will be arguing what to do with us for at least a year."

"It is the Russian belief that the world still needs heroes, sir."

"My, do they have that right," the European woman laughed. I blinked; she looked familiar.

"Aren't you supposed to have a halo?" I asked.

"Normally I do," Angela Ziegler laughed. "But we were in the middle of cleaning. My halo could wait."

"It's an honor to meet all of you," I said. I turned to the Middle Eastern woman. "I'm sorry, but I don't recognize you."

"Don't worry, I wasn't a member of Overwatch," the Middle Eastern woman said. "Not officially, anyways. I am Fareeha Amari."

"Amari? Are you…is that your mother?"

"She is," Fareeha said. "Nice to meet you."

"Let's get you inside so we can brief you," Morrison said.

"Here, let me take your bags," Fareeha said.

"It is fine, they are heavy," I said. I was already picking them up, but she offered a hand.

"You just got here, and had a long flight. Please, let me lend you a hand."

"I am not joking when I said they are heavy."

"Does it look like I'm a pushover?" Fareeha laughed. She was in good shape; excellent shape, even. But I still didn't think she could carry all of my gear.

Still, she still kept a hand out. Might as well let her see what she would get herself into.

"Alright," I said with a shrug. I handed her one bag, and she nearly fell over.

"Fuck! What do you have in here?" The weight nearly pulled her over.

"All of my combat gear," I said. "It tends to get a little heavy."

"Careful, Fareeha, you know she was a champion bodybuilder," Angela laughed. "'Heavy' for her means 'impossible' for us."

"I can see that," Fareeha groaned.

"Don't lift with your back, lift with your legs," Angela said.

"Da, your posture is all wrong."

"If you know how to lift this, maybe you can take one," Fareeha said to Angela.

"Please, I've done my fair share of lifting. I've carried this team more times than I can count."

Than nearly made me drop my cannon.

"Ha ha! Mercy is not too merciful, is she?" I laughed.

"If only you knew the half of it," Morrison roared.

"Here, take it," Fareeha groaned, meagerly holding the bag out. I grabbed it and threw it over my shoulder. The weight was reassuring.

"Come on, let's get you inside and situated," Jack said.

I took one last look at the plane as we headed inside. Crews were already moving to fill the plane up.

 _My home was destroyed. A massive explosion had turned the garden into a crater, the house into scrap. Only the farthest wall remained. It swayed in the wind, threatening to tip over. Smoke and dust filled the air, and the sharp smell of fire was everywhere._

They were going back to the fight, to kick the Omnics back. They would be getting stronger while I would be getting weaker.

No. Get a grip. Control yourself. You have your orders: pull Overwatch back into the Omnic Crisis. That won't be done today, or even a week from now. The General said it would be a long game, but a worthy one. Russia must never fall.

"Sorry for the dust, but we're just getting back on our feet," Morrison said as he led us in. "Winston is working up a storm to get everything spic and span, and we're all there with him."

"I am used to a little dust," I said. It meant more maintenance on my cannon, but I liked working with it.

"We'll give you a quick tour and get you set up with your quarters."

"Jack? Is that you?"

From ahead of us, a woman was walking towards us. She was…no, you have to watch yourself. There can never be a slip up.

She was Chinese, with brown hair done up in a bun and long bangs. She had a big puffy winter coat on, but it was unzipped and open, with a simple Overwatch t-shirt on under it She…Watch your thoughts, you have to be careful. Someone is always watching.

She looked young, about my age.

"That can't be," Ana said. "Mei? Is that you?"

"In the flesh!" She said with a great big smile.

"Mei!" Angela ran over to wrap her in a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Answering the recall order."

"What do you mean? After your ordeal, you should be resting."

"That's what the other doctors said," Mei said. She…careful, I have to hide this part of me.

She looked perfectly fine; why would she need to be kept to the sidelines?

"But they also said that I needed to find ways to keep me busy," Mei said. "This always kept me busy, and I could really use this now."

"If you say so," Angela said. "But I'll keep an eye out on you. If you show any signs of sickness…"

"I'll be fine, don't you worry." Mei sure liked to smile. I had to keep my eyes on Ana, who was walking up to her.

"It is good to see an old friend," she said, giving her a hug.

"I'm glad that you're still with us," Mei said. "I've missed so much."

"None of that now, dear, you're back among friends."

"Good to see you back, Mei," Morrison said. How could she know these people? She couldn't be older than thirty! "Come on in, Zarya. We'll show you around."


	3. Chapter 3

Morrison was right; the watch point was very dusty. But there were men and woman working tirelessly to restore it to its former glory. It hardly seemed run down, just…neglected. Such was the power of the Petras Act. It is good that we had put an end to that, at least for the time.

"Winston, look who showed up!" Morrison called out.

From the rafters of the massive gate, a large gorilla swung down. It was strange seeing a fabled super-intelligent ape, but Winston's reputation had long ago prepared me to meet him.

"I saw," Winston said, dropping to the ground. "I was surprised that you were cleared of your ordeal, Mei."

"That is what everyone says. I just need to find something to keep me busy," she said. Just who was this woman? "And I wanted to see if all my old friends were still here."

"Oh, we are all here, little one!"

"Reinhardt!"

I fought the urge to drop my bags and salute again. Morrison said that we were not on parade duty. Still, I found it hard to resist it.

Reinhardt Wilhelm was truly massive, even out of his armor. He towered over all of us. It was a long time since I felt this small.

But with his massive smile, it was hard to feel intimidated by him. He had such a big, warm smile, just like Mei's. Morrison might have been a living legend, but Reinhardt was the very picture of a big hero.

"Do not think I would pass the opportunity to join Overwatch again!" He roared, kneeling down to practically scoop her up.

"I'm surprised you're still running around!"

"He never stopped running around," Fareeha said.

"Ja, very true! I am not built for retirement." He set Mei down and turned to look at me. "Have we got a new recruit?"

"Sir, Alkesandra Zaryanova," I said, standing tall. "You can call me Zarya."

"Oh, you're the Ruskie they sent us," he laughed. "Many thanks for de-fanging the Petras Act. Maybe now we can get back to work and do some good in this world!"

"I would be honored to fight alongside you." I looked at his pure silver hair. I couldn't help but smile. "Or in front of you, if you can't keep up, old man."

Reinhardt and Angela broke into loud laughter.

"Ha! I am more than able to keep up," Reinhardt laughed.

"Please, Reinhardt, you had to take retirement," Fareeha said, but she was smiling too. "You might need a walker to stay in form."

"Ach! You wound me so, little Fareeha," he gaped. "Zarya is more than welcome to our ranks. The more, the merrier! This will be just like old times!"

"Hopefully without a Blackwatch to shut us down," Winston said.

"Regardless, we must be on our best behavior."

The metallic voice made my hair stand on end. Floating in the air, not walking but floating, was a fucking tin can.

 _The smell is more than I can stand. The burned, charred smell, ripe with rot and shit, it hits my nose with every breath. I feel the tears, but I don't know that I'm crying. A large metal husk, the corpse of a damn tank Omnic, is in front of me._

 _It had crushed two houses in its death spasm. Blood stained the underside; a hand was sticking out from under it._

" _Look at what the machines have done to us, Alkesandra," father said. "Stop crying! See what they did! If they see you crying, they'll come back for us. Turn your fear into hate. Hate them, and destroy them, so they may never do this to us again."_

"What is a fucking tin can doing here?!"

Why is everyone staring at me? There's a goddamn Omnic here! They are Overwatch, they should be destroying these abominations!

"Zarya, calm yourself," Morrison growled. Suddenly he was all business. But he was staring at me, not at that floating can. "Zenyatta is part of our team."

"Bullshit he is," I spat.

"You need to watch your attitude!" He yelled. The people around us stop and stare. I glared back. "I know you have battled Omnics in the past, but you _will_ check that shit at the door. Zenyatta is a valuable member of our team; has been for years."

"Omnics aren't our friends," I said. "They're the enemy, and they will turn on us."

"Zarya, please, he's a friend." It was Angela, gently placing a hand on my arm.

"Do you know what burning flesh smells like?" I demanded. That made her grow deathly serious. "I learned that smell before I could properly read. Do you know how people dance as they burn alive? Does anyone? Be glad you don't."

"I said, watch your attitude," Morrison said. He spoke with quiet fury, but I had faced quiet fury before. "You suffered. We get that. But Zenyatta is part of the team, and if you want to be part of Overwatch, you _will_ work with him. If you don't like that, your plane is still getting gassed up. Get back on it, and go back to Russia; we don't need you."

I nearly took him up on the offer. But I bit my tongue; orders were orders, and Overwatch had to be brought back to the Crisis.

Mei caught my attention. Her eyes were wide, and she was taking an unconscious step back from me. She was scared. Did I…was she scared of me? I wasn't the enemy, that tin can was.

I saw my reflection in her glasses. I was some big Ruskie who was yelling at them. Of course I was scaring her; she was so tiny. Suddenly I was ashamed. I didn't mean to scare her; I never wanted to scare her.

"Understood," I made myself say. It was easier to think of making Mei better than to admit to working with a machine.

"Will you work with us? With Zenyatta?"

Damn this old man, he wanted me to say it.

"Da, I can work with him."

"You're not just agreeing with me, are you?" He snarled. I actually smiled at that. "Saying what you want me to hear?"

"Please. I am used to doing things I don't want to do," I said. "I am Russian."

"This better not be a problem going forward."

"Despite your hate, I do look forward to working with you," the tin can said.

"Piss on that, Ominc," I spat.

"You're out of line, soldier," Morrison yelled. "Stow that shit and—"

"Jack, please." How could Morrison, the founder of Overwatch, stand to let that…that _thing_ put its hand on his shoulder? "She is not wrong."

"…What?" Morrison said.

"…What?" I said.

"Zen, she spat at you and called you a can," Morrison said.

"And she was at the forefront of both Omnic Crises," it said. "Her pain is understandable. She is not wrong to be wary."

"She's not wrong," Fareeha said, full of disbelief. I had to admit, I was not understanding the damn can either. "So you let her call you names and slurs?"

"Not being wrong does not make her right," it said. Great, it speaks in riddles, too. "Zarya, I know words cannot correct anything. As Jack is fond of saying, 'talk is cheap.' But if there is one thing that you must know of me, know that I am sorry for the pain and suffering my brothers have caused you."

"So good to know you care." I knew when I was being mocked.

"Drop it, that's an order," Morrison snapped.

"Yes sir."

I grabbed my bags and my cannon. Working with a can. This job took a very quick turn for the worst.

"Come, I'll show you where your room will be," Ana said.

"I'll find it myself," I said. "I need to get the taste of metal out of my mouth."


	4. Chapter 4

The damn metal taste lingered on my tongue even when I found my room. Someone at Overwatch went out of their way; they put my name on the door, both in English and in Cyrillic. Morrison hadn't given me any orders other than 'work with the tin can,' so I decided to see what this facility had.

They had a gym. And a damn good one.

It was old, like the rest of the watch point, but surprisingly well maintained. It looked like someone was using it when Overwatch was disbanded; if the weights that were left out were any indication, that person was a beast. Maybe Winston liked to pump iron.

I walked around the gym, examining all of the equipment. It had everything I needed to stay in peak shape, which was excellent. I may not be a bodybuilder any more, but old habits truly did die hard.

I quickly ran back to my room and pulled my little book from my pack. Back in the gym, I flipped through it and matched up the exercises that I needed to do with the equipment present. It had everything I needed for a full rotation. I could work out every day for two weeks and not repeat any exercises. Maybe this place wouldn't be so bad after all.

Flipping through my little book, I realized just how quiet it was here. There was no sound of weights being racked and re-racked, no grunts of excursion, no one yelling for one more rep or to finish strong. No one but me.

Back in Russia, privacy was a premium, especially at the front. It was partially intentional; it was the buddy system in action. No one could go off on their own and either get lost or picked off by a rogue Omnic. With a friend, you were safe. Or at least saf _er_. But it also meant that someone was always watching you.

Here, in this empty gym, I could just be me. No more watching my tongue and guarding my thoughts. No more wondering if I was hidden behind web proxies and unindexed message boards. No more worrying that Operation Paedophilia had finally caught me.

Going around the gym, writing a schedule, it took me back to St. Petersburg. I was only there until the First Crisis ended, before our homes could be rebuilt, but it was where I got my start at bodybuilding. Being a kid, I could barely move anything; I would get in the way more often than not. I could only use it at night, learn the proper form to lift. It was so quiet and safe, it truly felt like home.

I began absentmindedly filling out routines for a few weeks. As I was writing, I remembered that pretty…no, thinking that will get you caught, even here.

I remembered that woman, Mei. Just who was she? She was treating Morrison and Amari like old friends. But she was so young.

A knock at the door made me jump.

"Sorry." It was Mei, with that smile that seemed to always be on her face. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It is fine," I said, finishing a routine in my book. The gym wasn't quiet anymore; I had to watch myself again, to be careful with my words and lingering looks. "Has Morrison decided to take back his offer on having me here?"

"What? No, he hasn't."

"Good. I was…hoping to fight with him." I couldn't say I wanted to see her again. I could never say that. I have to get Overwatch back to fighting Omnics; I couldn't do that with being kicked out.

"I'm sorry, but am I interrupting?"

"Interrupting what?" I asked.

"Well, I had to ask what caused you to…you know, with Zenyatta," Mei said. I'm sure I made a damn fine first impression. "I didn't know you lived in Siberia when the Crisis began. I'm so sorry. Uh, what I mean is, are you planning on working out? It seems like a good way to release stress."

She was stammering. Must have made a truly big scene for her to still be off-guard. Just a big fucking Ruskie, making a scene.

"No, just seeing what they have," I said. "Being a bodybuilder is more than just mindlessly going to the gym."

"It is?"

"Da, completely different. You have to hit certain parts of your body each day; focus on legs one day, then back, then core, and arms, you have to keep it all in rotation. What most men forget is to even things out, or forget to rest and recover, to let their bodies rebuild the muscles they tore apart."

"Do all men do that? Just, work out mindlessly?"

"Not all men, but the ones who do unbalanced work outs, they are almost _always_ men," I laughed. "Too focused on biceps or shoulders. They miss leg day, and look like chickens. Massive upper body, pencil-thin legs."

That made Mei laugh. Smiling, I forced myself to look back at my book, away from her. I couldn't linger on her face.

"So I have to make sure I don't end up like them," I mumbled, trying to think of something to say. "Just…getting a lay of the land."

"Well, if you're done looking around, they're about to serve dinner," she said. "Would you like to eat with us?"

"I would like that. The flight over here was long."

"Great!" She was all smiles. Those smiles would get me in trouble. "But I have to warn you: Zenyatta will be there."

Dammit. I must've faltered, because Mei began stumbling all over herself.

"If it's too much, you can just eat with me," she said. "Just me, and…and the others will be there by chance."

"Don't worry, I can eat with that can."

"Jack said you would have to call him by his name."

"The old man was making things hard," I mumbled.

"Zarya, please."

"It is fine, I've done harder things than hold my tongue," I said. "I will keep my peace. But if the Omnic—"

"Zenyatta."

"Yes, if 'Zenyatta' tries anything…"

"He won't," Mei promised. She sounded very convinced. "Zenyatta is an old friend. He's up to nothing."

"How do you know it won't break its promise?"

"'Him.' Zenyatta is a 'him.'"

Fine, I can play that game.

"Then how do you know 'he' won't break 'his' promise?"

"Zenyatta was with Overwatch before it dissolved," she said. "So was I. We've worked together a few times."

"How is that possible?" I asked. "You say you've worked with them, but you're so…how are you so young?"

"Cryogenics," she said with a warm smile, "but I wouldn't recommend it. Come on, dinner's getting cold."

* * *

The slop they had here seemed much better than the slop back on the front. That was one perk of being off the front lines.

The dining hall was large, and plenty of Overwatch men and women were eating. They nearly filled the room up. Being alone in the gym was nice, but being in a room full of people happily eating was pleasing as well, even if I had to be the Zarya everyone thought I was.

Mei lead me through the room until she saw Morrison. He sat with Amari, Angela, Fareeha, Winston and Reinhardt, both of whom somehow managed to squeeze into the little table. That tin can Zenyatta sat at the end. Fortunately, they left a seat for me at the other end of the table. I happily took it. Mei pulled the chair out for me; I smiled my thanks. She sat next to me.

Any talk at the table seemed to mute as I sat down.

"I'm glad that we can all be civil here," Morrison said.

"I apologize for my outburst earlier," I said. "I am Russian. And Russia remembers her enemies."

Morrison snorted.

"Funny you say that," he said. "It wasn't _that_ long ago that we were in a conflict of sorts."

"What do you mean? We never came to blows."

"Good thing, too," he said. "We might've nuked the planet over a few times if we did."

"Ah, you mean the Cold War."

"What, you forget that happened?" Morrison asked. "My dad used to tell me stories of when he watched the Wall come down."

"Oh, we remember the Cold War," I smiled. "Don't you worry. Russia remembers you just fine."

Jack laughed and went back to eating.

"Capitalist Pig."

Morrison stopped to stare at me. I could feel everyone at the table staring at me. I went on eating, ignoring him.

Then Mei started laughing. I smiled; I was glad she was the first to pick up on it.

"You don't mean…" Morrison started. Then Fareeha saw my smile and she started laughing. "You're still not sore about the Cold War, are you…?"

"Dad, she's messing with you," Fareeha said.

Dad? He was her father?

But Fareeha got the rest of the table to laugh. Reinhardt was laughing the loudest. He was full-on pounding the table.

"She has gotten you good, Jack!" He roared. "The look on your face!"

"Not every day someone gets you to do a double-take," Angela giggled. She even laughed like an angel.

Morrison glared at me, his face burning a little redder than normal.

"Jack, please, it was a joke," Ana said, a hand on his shoulder.

"No, it was good," he said. "Can't say I saw it coming. Shit, can't remember the last time someone got the upper hand on me."

"It doesn't chafe your pride?" Zenyatta the Can said. I ignored him.

"It does, but that's a sign it's keeping me humble."

"What about the time Fareeha put black shoe polish on the inside of your combat visor?" Mei said. That made me nearly spit up my soup. Morrison, the Strike Commander of Overwatch, have a black shoe polish mask?

"How could we forget that?" Winston roared. "It wouldn't come off for hours!"

"You looked like some kind of bank robber," Ana laughed.

"I almost forgot about that," Fareeha said.

"It _was_ a long time ago," Morrison said. He seemed to be taking it in stride.

"Long for you, but for me, it wasn't too much of a stretch," Mei said. "The perks of being in cryo, right?"

"Yes, you get to avoid the pitfalls of becoming old," Ana said. "At least, for now."

"Perhaps you can give her some pointers, Ana," Zenyatta said. "Show her how to age with grace."

"Hey, sucking up to her is supposed to be _my_ job, Zen," Morrison said.

So this was how Overwatch was. These were the men and woman whom saved the world. These were the heroes they told us about. It was…it was nice to see them, nice to work with them, nice to have the chance of working together. This was more than a dream come true.

"Speaking of old friends, where is Lena?" Ana said.

"'Tracer' is on assignment," Winston said. "Following up a possible lead we have on Talon."

The humans that were drawing them away from the Crisis? This is important. I tried to look uninterested.

"Well, Lena likes playing with fire. Hopefully she'll know when to call for help," Ana said.

"I have seen a few pictures of Tracer since Overwatch was disbanded," I said. "How come she has not aged at all? She still looks very young."

"The short answer? I don't know," Winston said. "I have a few theories, though. It's possible that her chronal disassociation is causing her cells to live in a state of flux. It's possible that she's in her own little time bubble; I believe it's acting as a kind of age-retardant. It's possible she might not age at all."

Now that would be a talent to have. Never age, never lose your edge. Even if I stayed in competitive bodybuilding, I would only be able to compete for a few more years before I became the 'old woman' of the sport.

"Never aging, hmm?" Ana said as she sipped at her tea. "Maybe she can be the next great Overwatch cradle robber."

What?

A 'cradle robber?' Someone…someone at Overwatch was…she couldn't mean that someone in Overwatch was…attracted to _children_ , could she…? No, they were heroes, saviors of the world. Why was she looking at Angela?

Fareeha sighed, like she had heard such an insane proposition before.

"Mom…"

"Yes?"

I wasn't the only one who stopped and stared; everyone at the table had paused. Not only did Ana had answered her, but Angela did as well.

"I'm sorry," Angela smiled. "She calls me 'mommy' too."

I gasped. Or would have, if I wasn't trying to drink water at the same time. My lungs burned, and I spat almost on command. I was only dimly aware of Mei patting my back as I gasped and coughed.

"That's it, keep coughing," she laughed.

They couldn't be…together? That couldn't be possible. How could they be so cavalier about it, so open? Weren't they afraid of someone reporting them?

 _The teacher stands in front of my classroom._

" _The Omnics are a threat to Russia, but they are not the only one," he said. "They are aided by faggots, those who wish to see our country burn."_

But they were all laughing, Winston and Reinhardt the loudest. No one was yelling at them, calling them 'faggot.' Were they safe here?

"Mom, please," Fareeha said.

 _It is Valentine's Day, and Natalie sits next to me. I should have bought her flowers; she is so pretty. But she is talking to the boys, and they can never know what I feel. I cannot be a traitor to Russia._

"Don't worry, I know that your angel is giving me a hard time," Ana said. "I've already given you my blessings, but I must know one thing…"

She approved of this?! This had to be some kind of trap; I've seen it before. The message boards, the promises of safety, only for the posters to never be heard from again, victims of Occupy Paedophilia.

 _The message board is silent. It has been for days. Under_The_Radar has said she found a safe place, where she could be who she really is, but hasn't posted an update. My blood runs cold. She must have been caught._

"What happens if I kill an angel? Would she become an angelic ghost?"

"I don't plan on finding out anytime soon, _mother_ ," Angela laughed.

Everyone was laughing. I had to fit in; if Russia had taught me anything, it was better to fit in than to stand out. I was used to doing things I didn't want to do. So I did whenever someone made a gay joke, or called someone a faggot: I laughed along with them. Hopefully no one heard how forced it was.

"You'd better. If you break my daughter's heart, I will break your legs."

"And if I die before that?"

"Then I will kill you again."

Was this a truly safe place? I knew better than to think that, but part of me was excited at the possibility.

"Are you okay?" Mei asked. She was looking at me. She could see my panic; my hands are shaking. "Does Angela need to have a look at you?"

"No, I am fine," I said. "Just…it went down the wrong pipe. Still bothering me."

"Well, if it changes, we have the best doctor sitting across the table," she smiled. I had to watch myself. I had to be sure this wasn't some kind of play, a cruel trick. Occupy Paedophilia was known for dirty tricks.

But I've seen traps, messages to lure gays out. This would not be the first time someone tried to fool me. If this is a trap, I would find it out. I won't be lured out. I won't end up like those men and women who trusted the wrong person.


	5. Chapter 5

I was glad that no one else had decided to use the gym; I had it all to myself. I spent a good twenty minutes walking around the machines and the weights, just to calm myself. It was quiet here. I was alone. I was safe.

Fareeha had kissed Angela.

In front of everyone! And no one had said anything! It had to be play, I was sure. But if it wasn't…no, I couldn't get ahead of myself. I had to make sure this was a safe place, a good place, and not some kind of cruel trick.

I pulled my little book from my pocket and read over my work out schedule. I was halfway done before I went to dinner with Mei. I needed to finish.

The chance never came. A klaxon blared, a call to arms. I might not be able to finish my workout schedule, but a fight would help clear my mind.

I bolted from the gym and ran to my room. It was all muscle-memory; I had laid out my armor, and was quick to slide into it. My precious cannon was exactly where I left it; next to my bed, under a massive terry cloth blanket, in power saving mode.

The connectors in my gloves sparked to life as I grabbed the handle and pulled it up. It synced to my power pack and let out a reassuring blip; it was ready for action. Yes, this was just what I needed.

Overwatch must meet in the hanger bay, so I ran there as quick as I could. Morrison beat me to a jet plane by a few seconds.

"Glad you're quick on your feet," he said.

"Perks of being on the front," I said. "You are quick to a fight."

Mei and Angela were next, with Fareeha and her mother following right behind them. I excused myself to examine the plane, just to help clear my head.

"Are you alright?" I jumped; Mei had snuck up on me. Dammit, I thought that her smile would get me in trouble; it was her eyes that would do me in. They were filled with concern, and from what I could tell, it was genuine.

"Just need a fight," I mumbled.

"Ach! Let me go, woman!"

I looked up; Reinhardt was trying to run to the plane, half-armored, and a brown-haired woman in tow.

"Your armor still isn't ready yet!" She yelled. "You want to run in half-naked?"

"Brigitte, our friend is in trouble," Reinhardt said. "She needs our help."

"Reinhardt, we can't help Tracer if you get hit," Morrison said. "We need you at one-hundred percent for the next deployment. Go, fix your armor, we'll be fine."

"Jack is right." Dammit, it was that floating tin can Zenyatta. "If you are hurt, you will not be able to save the next great life. Be at peace, and chose your battles."

"Fine," Reinhardt spat. "But only because my armor decided to stop working."

"Maybe if you wouldn't push it so hard, it might last," the woman Brigitte said.

"Reinhardt, we got a group of six, we're good," Morrison said. "Everyone, on the plane. Now!"

I let Angela and Fareeha go first. I let Zenyatta go next. Ana, Morrison and Mei were next. I brought up the rear, staying as far to the back as possible. There were a line of chairs on the jet, and I quickly strapped myself in. Mei sat next to me, a worried look on her face.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked.

"Positive," I mouthed.

The world spun as the jet took off. We were in a hurry; we got in the air damn fast. Fortunately, it was a vertical take-off jet, and we didn't need to waste time to taxi to a runway.

"Winston's system just got a call from Tracer," Morrison said. "She was following a Talon group when an opportunity presented itself; she was able to capture enemy intel. Downside is, her cover was blown and she almost got caught. She's running from Talon, and needs us to pick her up.

"She's in the south of France; we should be there within twenty minutes. We need to get on the ground, find Tracer, and neutralize any Talon mercs we find. So get your game faces on, we need to hit the ground running. Winston will be on heads, providing support."

Tracer. Another hero of Overwatch. Was she…? No, I couldn't focus on that. I had to focus on saving her. I couldn't think of her as a person, but as on objective. Talon wanted to kill her, a hero of the Omnic War. That made me angry. That felt right. Anger was good; I knew anger. I didn't know whatever…whatever Angela and Fareeha were or what Mei made me feel.

We had a little time, so I ran over my cannon's diagnostics. I had done it twice before putting it in sleep mode, but it helped me clear my mind, and focus on getting angry at whomever these 'Talon' people were.

The temperature dropped. I looked up; Mei had some kind of blaster in her hand.

"What is that?"

"Endothermic blaster," she smiled. I had to look at that strange blaster to keep myself from staring. "Built it myself."

"Doesn't look like much."

"Trust me, it's got the goods."

The airplane dipped. We would be attacking soon. That meant I got to lead us out of the plane. I grinned; I like running point.

"Zarya, you clear an area," Morrison called. "This town has two levels, a low level by the sea, a high level away from it. You sweep low."

"Understood."

"Fareeha, Angela, you're with me. Zen, you and Mei back up Zarya. Ana, find a place best for you and provide support as needed. We meet in the middle of the town where Tracer's pinned down."

The damn Omnic was with me? Fucking Morrison was testing me, I knew it. I also knew I had to prove him wrong. If we wanted to see how I could fight with on Omnic, I would show him.

The plane dipped, and the doors opened. I jumped to the ground, scanning the area. There were no threats.

"Clear!"

"You know what to do," Morrison said. "Get to it!"

There was a street that sloped down; it must go to the lower portion of the city. I took it, watching for enemies. Gunfire echoed from across the city. Hopefully that would be Morrison getting to work. Peeking over my shoulder, I could see Zenyatta not too far from Mei.

"I've got my eye on you, Omnic," I growled.

"And I will watch your back in turn," 'he' replied.

Mei chuckled at that. Fine, it was a good one. But knowing that an Omnic would be with me, it made me even more angry. It was much better than feeling like this whole Angela and Fareeha thing was at trap to lure me out. I couldn't be the hunted; I had to be the hunter.

A group of black-armored, heavily armored men broke from cover. They seemed to be busy fighting Morrison and his group; they never noticed us. They only noticed when my cannon spat out two explosive shots at them.

My particle cannon was at no charge; un-amplified, the shots only battered the men. They opened fire on me. My shields drained, but I was quick to activate my particle barrier.

"Is that all you've got?" My charge gauge quickly filled, and the power of my cannon grew.

The next two lobs were able to truly hurt them. Bodies were thrown about, and I carved through the rest of them with ease.

"From Russia, with love," I laughed. This felt better.

More of these Talon people fell in. I ducked to cover, but saw that Mei had her back turned to them; she seemed to be forming an ice wall from thin air.

"Mei!"

She yelped as the men attacked her. But I was quicker. I thumbed a switch, and a projected barrier popped over her, protecting her from harm. The barrier took the shots for her, and my cannon grew even stronger. She was quick to find cover before it failed.

"You saved me," she smiled.

"Da," I smiled back. "You are covered."

I leaned out from cover, shooting all four shots into the Talon group. By then, I was at maximum charge; they stood no chance against me.

"Check out this _gun_ , Talon!" This was much better. "Move up, we need to meet with Morrison."

I pushed on, and Mei fell in by my side. I was feeling good. Then I noticed a strange ball hovering over me.

"What is that?"

"An orb of Harmony," Zenyatta said. "It is giving you a much needed boost."

Fucking Ominc. Just knowing that he was helping me made me angry. Better that then feeling whatever it was when it was just Mei around.

We didn't have to wait long until we ran into more Talon mercs. They were by the house that Tracer was pinned down at, and if I had to bet, they were going to prevent her from leaving at all.

Rockets blasted their position, but it was covering fire. I looked to the sky and I could see Fareeha, flying about with some kind of damned rocket jet pack. If I wasn't so attached to my cannon, I would want a gun like that.

But my cannon had a graviton surge. Did hers have that? Probably not.

"Let me get this," I said, lobbing the surge towards the group. Gravity fluxed, and they were pulled into the singularity. Fareeha must have seen it, because she let lose a barrage of rockets that obliterated them.

"Gravity kills! And rockets sure do help," I laughed.

I looked to the tiny shack that Tracer was at. Morrison was sprinting up to her.

"'Bout time the cavalry got 'ere!" It had to be Tracer.

"Damn right," Morrison said. "Now let's move. Fall back!"

I was peppering the surviving Talon men with explosive shots, just to keep them at bay. I paused to reload, and that's when a whole group pressed the attack.

They must have been waiting for a lull in the bombardment. I was to used to working with more people; I forgot that there was no one to cover my reloads. I pressed the barrier button, just as they let loose with a withering barrage. I had to fall back.

The barrier ended, and my shields quickly drained. They were surging, attacking en masse. I was at full charge, but I wouldn't be able to take them all out, not in time.

Funny. I always figured I would die at the hands of an Omnic.

Suddenly, the temperature dropped. It quickly felt like home. What was causing that?

I looked up at the attacking group. A massive blizzard had spawned in the middle of them, freezing them solid.

"Zarya, are you alright?" It was Mei. She was at my side, and looked like she threw some kind of drone.

"Da, just shaken."

"Good." How could she smile so big? Forget her eyes, it's that damn smile that is trouble. "They looked like they needed a time out."

"Let's make sure they don't get a time in, yes?"

With my cannon at full charge, it was easy to cut the frozen terrorists down.

"We must leave," Zenyatta said. Damn, I had hoped that someone would kill him. "Jack would be waiting for us at the jet."

I made sure to watch our backs as we ran back to the ship. We were last, but Morrison, Ana and Fareeha were waiting, sweeping the area with their guns and a rocket launcher. Tracer was there, carrying a large briefcase.

"One Talon case of intel, just as ordered!" She cheerily said.

"Good work," Morrison said. "Get on board, we need to leave."

"Da, that we do," I said, climbing aboard. I gave Mei a hand, and pulled her into the jet. She was so light. She smiled, and sat next to me. This had to be some kind of test. No way this place was safe. "A quick mission to get the blood pumping."

"Sure wasn't quick to me," Tracer laughed. "Still, all's well that ends well! I didn't miss dinner, did I? I'm starving."


	6. Chapter 6

It was well past eleven pm, and I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning in bed, doing anything but getting shut eye.

This was the shortest sortie I was ever in. Back on the front, either the Omnics would mount an attack, or we would launch a counter-attack and spend hours in the field. One time the battle had raged the entire day. We'd surge, take control of the objective, only to have the Omnics take it back, then we would rally and recapture it. Tertiary support lines had to be called upon to finally capture the point.

But this battle wasn't even an hour long. We spent more time in the air, flying to and from the battle than actually in the battle itself. It left me wanting more.

Finally, at quarter to midnight, I gave up. If I couldn't sleep, then maybe I could get some work done.

Dressing quickly, I went to the gym with my little book. I had planned on doing some simple lifts and jerks to get back in to the bodybuilding cycle; it was a good place to start. I had spent too much time on the front; my seventy-percent max had dropped.

Groaning, I took weights off the bar until I could do ten reps. My deadlift rep weight dropped to one-hundred and fifty kilos; my jerk cleans were down to one hundred. And I had to push myself to do eighty kilo split jerks.

All the while, I couldn't get Mei out of my head. How she…how she smiled. Like it lit up her entire face. That smile would get me in trouble. But if Angela and Fareeha were truly open…

I hit my max reps and dropped the bar. I still didn't feel tired enough to sleep, either physically or mentally. There was too much going on to sleep. Well, a big workout meant I would have a big appetite. Maybe the cafeteria would still be open. I re-racked the weights, both as a cool down and as a courtesy, then walked through the facility.

There were a few night-shift soldiers. They nodded politely to me as I passed them. I made myself look strong and in control, in case they were watching.

Opening the door to the food court, I was glad to see that they were still open. They were serving cold food; cereal, instant oatmeal and a few pieces of fruit, but they were open. And sitting at a table, sipping what looked like tea, was Angela.

I should just ignore her. But she's like me; she had to be. But then, I've seen men and women pretend to be gay to lure others out. There was always some kind of tell. But she didn't have any that I could see. She kissed Fareeha without any discomfort, without any hesitation. And she was still alive, and unbeaten to boot. It was a risk, but if this place was truly safe…

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked.

She looked up from her book. She was tired, with bags starting to form under her eyes. But she was still alert.

"Zarya, this is a surprise," she smiled. "Please, sit down. You can't sleep either?"

"Not after a fight," I said, taking a seat across from her. "And this fight was too short. I have to do something else, yes?"

"Ah, the good old adrenaline addiction," she laughed.

"You have it too, da?"

"No, quite the opposite," she said. "I'm actually too scared to sleep."

"Too scared? I thought you of all people wouldn't be scared of a battle."

"Surprising, isn't it?" She smiled. "I'm a healer. Yes, I carry a pistol for protection, but I hardly use it. Call it an old habit, but I'm a big believer in the motto 'First, do no harm.'"

"But you've been fighting for years."

"And I never get any better at it. Like you, my home was destroyed in the Crisis. But I never learned how to be angry. Instead, I wanted to help people. I'm better at jumping into a warzone now than I was before, but it still scares me."

She took a sip from her tea. I noticed what looked like a red love mark on her neck.

If this was a trap, it was a damn good one, and I deserved to fall for it.

"Is that a…?"

Angela chuckled.

"A gift from Fareeha," she smiled. There was no way they could be faking that tone of voice. My heart pounded in my chest; this had to be a safe place. "Fighting gets her in a mood, and I like those moods. But fights keep me awake; she doesn't have the same problem I have. So to let her sleep, I come out here."

"She really does call you 'mommy?'" I laughed.

"Actually, she does," Angela laughed. "I tried to psychoanalyze her, but it only made her mad. So I just let her call me whatever she wants."

I had always dreamt of finding a safe place, where I could truly be myself. I had so many questions, but somehow I couldn't think of any of them. Dammit, I had to come up with something.

"I don't mean to pry, but…did you always know you were like this?" I asked.

"What way?"

"Well…" Come on, find your nerve. "Always liking women."

"Ah. I know where this is headed," Angela said. She slid a bookmark in between the pages and closed the book. "You have some questions?"

"Wish I could remember them," I mumbled. I must have been blushing something awful. "I never thought I'd find a place like this, where I could talk freely."

"'A safe place?'" Angela asked. "What made you think Overwatch wasn't safe?"

"It's a long story. How long have you known? Do your parents know?"

"My parents died in the Crisis."

"Oh. I'm…sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't know," she smiled.

"You never tried dating a man?"

"Well, there was this _one_ time in college," she said. "Everyone always said college was the time to experiment, so I decided to try kissing a boy. Tried it a few times, but I didn't like it. And if I didn't care much for kissing boys, dating one wouldn't be much fun either."

"So thorough," I laughed.

"I _am_ a scientist," she smiled.

"Ana called you a 'cradle robber.' Does she mean that you…"

"Seduced Fareeha?" She asked.

"Yes, that."

"There's a story behind that," Angela said. "Fareeha grew up in Overwatch. She was a baby when it was formed. I joined as soon as I could, and we both knew each other since then. So when Fareeha first told her mother of us, she didn't quite approve. She saw me as a friend who took a step too far.

"I won't lie, I was attracted to her when she grew older. She was such a cutie. But we were friends, and I didn't want to make things…strange by asking her out, or confessing to her. Then, one day, out of the blue, she came up to talk to me. Turns out she was attracted to me since the first time she saw me; she had only just decided to risk telling me.

"It took me by surprise, but I think she was more surprised when I told her I felt the same way about her. You should have seen the look in her eyes." Angela smiled happily, wrapped in the memory. "Ana only calls me that to give me a hard time. Fareeha and I are only five years apart."

"That's…that's beautiful."

"Expecting less of me?" She chided gently.

"I just met you. I didn't know what to make of this. How long did you know you were…this way?"

"Boy, _that's_ going back," she said. "Back when I was a girl, my friends would play 'wedding,' pretend we were getting married. We'd planning the ceremony, where we would get married, who'd we invite, that whole thing. But I never wanted to marry a boy, I always wanted to marry a girl. I'm sure that's when I knew that women were for me."

"And you weren't scared?"

"Hard to be scared when you're a girl who barely knew how the world worked."

"And how did others take this? Your friends?"

"Back then, none of us really knew what it meant, being gay. They just accepted it as something that was part of me. As we grew older, and we knew what it really meant, it was old news to them. They were my friends, and they stood by me."

"You're lucky."

"I know, I have heard plenty of horror stories," she said. "Now it's my turn to pry. I don't mean to offend you, but this little Q and A session is ringing my gaydar. Are you gay?"

The moment of truth. I've told people, but always behind a screen name. Always on chat rooms, where you can look at a history, find out who was lying, who was honest, and who wanted to beat up a few gays. Saying it in public…

"Yes." I could feel myself blushing.

She took my hands. She was so dainty.

"Zarya, you said it yourself, this is a safe place," she said. "I know that Russia isn't the… _best_ place to be gay…"

"Please, you cannot be gay in Russia," I laughed bitterly.

"So I've heard," she said. "But this isn't Russia. We don't have people who think less of you because you're gay."

"I could tell when you pulled that whole 'she calls me mommy' line. The lack of screaming and a public beating tipped me off."

"Public beating? I never knew."

"I had to make sure it was safe to talk about. I've seen postings by men and women on message boards, say they found a safe place, and then never be heard from again."

"Well, Overwatch is safe," she said. "Fareeha and I have been dating for years. This is home, and you can talk about whatever you want when you are at home."

I couldn't help but smile. She wasn't yelling, she wasn't calling me 'faggot,' she wasn't laughing, saying I was caught…this place was actually safe. I never felt this way before.

"I have to ask you, though. Why the pink hair?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, pink hair strikes me as something…well, that a stereotypical butch lesbian would do," she said. "If you were trying to keep a low profile, why dye your hair pink?"

"What do you mean, 'something a butch lesbian would do?'"

"No one ever questioned why you dyed your hair pink?"

"Da, they have," I said. "I like pink. It is my favorite color."

Angela looked at me, then broke out laughing.

"What?"

"I just get it," she laughed. "No one would know what a lesbian would do, so they don't know when an actual lesbian does it. They must not have stereotypes, or very good ones."

"I don't get it."

"Don't worry about it," she laughed. "And speaking of talking, I have a promise to keep."

"What promise?"

"To Mei." She smiled mischievously. "She likes you."

I could barely speak.

"She…does?"

"Wouldn't shut up about you," she laughed. "She came to me for advice, too. Wanted to know the best way to talk to you, and if she had a chance. That was before Tracer called for help and we had to go fight, that is."

That pretty girl with the big smiles…she liked me?

"W-what did you tell her?"

"I was going to tell her to just go talk to you," Angela said. "But then we had to fight, and she ran off to talk to Zenyatta."

That damn tin can?

"Zarya, don't get mad." It was like she was reading my thoughts. Gone was her playful tone; she was serious. "Please. We know you suffered from the Crisis, but remember what Jack said."

Don't forget your orders.

"Da, I know."

"Look, just go talk to her. Let her know that you like her, too."

"How can you tell?"

"Well, you turned about ten shades redder when I said she likes you," she smiled, back to being playful. "Tripped my gaydar big time."

"What's a gay-dar?"

"Right, no good gay tropes in Russia," she said. "Gay radar. The ability for one gay person to find another."

"Oh."

"So go talk to her."

"But I—"

" _Now_ ," she smiled. "Doctor's orders."

"But where is she?"

"I would start in the third floor common area. That was a popular spot back in the day, she might be there."

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done."

Angela smiled.

"Just go talk to her. You'll figure it out."


	7. Chapter 7

I was still new to Overwatch; I got lost a few times, but was able to find my way to the third floor common roon. Just as Angela said, Mei was there, and from the looks of it, she was in her sleeping clothes; an oversized shirt and blue fuzzy pants. She was drinking tea, and talking to Zenyatta the damn Can, floating in midair like some damn robotic monk.

I felt the anger growing in me. How could she talk to that fucking thing?

 _I saw my reflection in her glasses. I was some big Ruskie who was yelling at them. Of course I was scaring her; she was so tiny. Suddenly I was ashamed. I didn't mean to scare her; I never wanted to scare her._

No, I couldn't be that big, mean Ruskie. I couldn't scare her again. If that meant swallowing my pride and getting close to an Omnic…then so be it.

"Hello?"

Both of them looked up.

"I, I was hoping to talk to you, Mei," I said. I could feel myself blushing.

"It sounds like you need privacy," Zenyatta said. "I will leave you. I will be meditating in my quarters if I am needed."

"Thank you, Zen," Mei said.

I stepped aside so the Ominc could float passed me. There was plenty of room, but I didn't want to get close to him.

"Thank you for being civil," he said. Then, he whispered. "You must know that this is a safe place. I know there are terrible things done in Russia."

"Da, Angela told me."

"Then I am glad."

What was this world coming to? I could tell the damn Omnic was sincere. I watched him as he floated on out, not a care in the world.

"You're up late," Mei said, making me remember what made me find her. Other than Angela's insistence.

"You are, too," I mumbled. What was I supposed to say?

"What kept you up?"

"I..."

What should I say?

Fuck it.

"Do you like me?" I stammered.

Mei was taken back. I thought she would blush, or run, but she laughed instead.

"You've been talking to Mercy, haven't you?"

"Y-yes…"

"She knows how to be direct," Mei said, all smiles. I let myself stare at her. This was either safe, or a trap that I deserved to fall for. "Yes, I do."

"You…you do?" I couldn't think of anything to say, nothing better than that.

"I wanted to tell you that when I first saw you," she said. "But I didn't want to make things…weird. Especially if you didn't like women. I had to ask Zenyatta for help."

"Why ask him for help?"

"It may surprise you, but he actually has really helpful advice," she said. "He's really good at reading people, too."

"Help. Strange for an Omnic to give help."

"If there's one thing I found out, the world is full of strange things," she smiled. I couldn't take my eyes off that smile. "Being gay, well, openly gay, is new to me. I already asked Fareeha for advice, too."

"I'll have to ask her. I don't know how to be gay."

"That makes two of us," she laughed. "What made you pretend to be straight?"

I snorted. This pretty woman didn't understand.

"You cannot be gay in Russia."

"What do you mean?"

I sat down next to her.

"You never heard of Occupy Paedophilia, have you?" I asked. "Many Russians, nearly half, think that being gay is a disease, a sickness. Like you'd catch a cold. There are people who try to trick gays to outing themselves, and they beat them."

"There has to be a law against that!"

"Oh, there's a law, alright," I said. "Have you ever heard of the 'On Protecting of Children from Information Harmful to their Health and Development' amendment?"

"That's a mouthful."

"Da. A mouthful, but it is an amendment to Russian law."

"You can't mean it bans homosexuality," she gasped.

"No, it doesn't ban it. But it bans the mention of it where children might see it; for their 'protection.' And if you can't talk about it, well, hard to say how it might be a real thing."

"You mean you can't even show a picture of a woman holding a woman's hand?" Mei said. "Or a rainbow?"

"Only if you want to be arrested," I said. "When I was ten, they tried to have a Gay Pride Parade. The police arrested anyone they could get their hands on."

"They can't do that."

"It was better than what the Occupy Paedophilia goons did to them."

"Then…How can you be so calm about this?"

"Because I had to be. Because everyone had to be. You cannot speak out against the state, so you learn to live with it. I found myself looking at girls more and more as I grew up, but I knew better than to act upon it. I never, ever wanted to end up like those who were caught."

"Then how did you find any help? You're too comfortable with saying you're, well, gay. I've seen people who have been in denial all their lives, they don't take it well when they have to out themselves."

"There are still places where you can say what you are," I said. "Message boards. Forums. Places online. Un-indexed, of course; dark and hard to find. Those are the safest, but they are still dangerous."

"How can they be dangerous?"

"Russians believe that gays are pedophiles. Many Russians, anyways." I shifted in my seat. I was better at admitting what I was, but it still rubbed some part of me the wrong way. "They say gays are children rapists, animal fuckers, or Omnic spies."

"That's insane. Who says that?"

"Nearly every school teacher I've ever had. When I first realized what I was…I was in a bad place. Finding out I liked women sent me to a worse one. I never wanted to seduce a child, to have a dog have its way with me, or to help a fucking Omnic. They said that's what I was, but I felt none of those things. It took me a long time, and the right message boards, to realize the lies.

"You have to be careful. You have to find the right message boards, and they are hidden. You have to speak in code, and you have to figure out what the code is to begin with. But the people who post things; I've never met them, meeting in person is too dangerous, but they were the loveliest people I've ever met. When I was in a bad place, they helped make me better. And when others said they were in the same place, I helped them, too."

"Why can't you meet them in person?"

"Occupy Paedophilia reads the boards, too. They like to make traps, lure people out. Make it seem like there is a safe place, then spring their trap. That is why you cannot be gay in Russia. They will find out."

Mei took my hand. God, she was so tiny.

"How can you fight for them?" Mei asked. "Why fight for them?"

"Because it is my home," I said. "I love my home. When I was a girl, the First Omnic Crisis destroyed my village. I still have nightmares from it. You cannot know the damage they did; there was nothing left. When we were able to return, after Overwatch destroyed them, we had to rebuild everything; there was nothing but rubble. Seeing my home destroyed, I hated them. Everyone hated the Omnics. I hated them, and it made me mad seeing how weak we were."

"But they—"

"You cannot live in Russia and hate it. Patriotism, no, _nationalism_ is everywhere. If there is a soldier in a store buying food, everyone moves aside and lets them move to the front. Newspapers and news channels are little more than mouthpieces for the state. If you speak out against the President, you risk being beaten or killed.

"Do you know what that does to a person? To a child? Russia is everything. It is their life, just as important as your family. Growing up, I wanted Russia to return to its former glory. To return to when we were truly strong, before the fall of the Wall. It isn't a choice, it is beaten into you at every turn. You don't just walk away from that."

"Then how do you live?" Mei asked. "How can you fight for something that would hurt you without even thinking about it?"

I couldn't think of anything to say. I still loved my country, I truly did. But knowing of the people whom I talked to on the message boards, knowing that many of them disappeared, I still couldn't bring myself to hate my country.

"I am gay. And I love my country," I finally said. "That is all I know, all I care about. Look at me, making a scene. I'm probably just another big Ruskie, scaring you off."

"I'll be lying if I said there was a part of me that says I should leave," Mei said. "But I don't care what it says."

I looked at her.

"How? Why?"

"You're not the only one with a story to tell," she smiled. "You asked me before how old I was. Well, I'm actually very old."

"Yes, you said something about cryogenics, didn't you?"

"I did," she said. "But that comes later. Growing up, I guess you could say that I was like you. In China, my parents didn't believe in gays. They thought it was…a sickness, I guess. They never talked about it, like it never existed. You see, years ago in China, decades ago, people were limited to only having one child. And everyone wanted a boy. It took them a while to realize that if everyone had boys, there wouldn't be enough girls to carry on the family tree."

"Little short-sighted, no?"

"Very," she smiled. It was nice to see her smile so big. "My parents couldn't even comprehend me being gay. I don't even think they would have. They were always setting me up on blind dates, introducing me to boys. I knew that I couldn't get away from it, so I let them. I let them show me around, show me off to their friends, always telling others 'we have a daughter!' I even had plenty of boyfriends."

I was awfully jealous of the boys.

"And it never ended. Even when I went away to university, they were always putting my name out there, telling others of their beautiful, smart daughter who would make a good wife. Always asking me when I would settle down. I hated it, but I knew I couldn't have it any other way.

"I studied environmental change in university. How the planet is warming, the effects it will have on a global scale, all of that. I joined Overwatch to help combat runaway climate change. You wouldn't think it, but the floods, hurricanes and droughts that hit the world are caused by rapid climate change."

"Really?"

"Really," she said, that warm smile creeping into the corner of her lips. It was something she cared greatly about. "I wanted to make a difference, to help save the world from itself. I was ultimately assigned to a Watchpoint in Antarctica. I loved the challenge, to study first-hand how to best counteract global warming. But I would be gone for a year, easily. And there was this girl that I liked."

She shook her head.

"I was going to tell her how I felt about her. I was going to tell my parents. But I never worked up the nerve. I promised myself, 'just tell them when you get back. It's only a year. You don't want to disappoint mother and father.' Too bad I never came back after that year."

"What happened?"

"A massive blizzard completely cut us off from the world," she said. "Destroyed nearly everything. We had no food, very little fuel. To save ourselves, we entered cryostasis to wait for a rescue mission. The next thing I know, I was waking up to a strange new world. I was in cryo for decades, the only one to survive."

"What happened to the others?" I asked.

"As the facility lost power, their cryopods unfroze," she said. "They probably starved to death, or froze, or suffocated."

How could she be so cheerful, so easy to smile?

"Well, when I was rescued and woken up, I missed many, many things. My parents passed away. The girl I liked, she either she never liked women or she forced herself to marry a man. She has three children now, and is middle aged. That is why Ana, Fareeha and Mercy know me, because I worked with them before I was frozen."

"And why you look so young."

"Yes, that too," she laughed. "I missed so much of life. So I made a promise to myself: I wouldn't let any other chance pass me up. I won't let another Xiuxiu slip through my fingers." She turned to me, taking my hands. "Zarya, I like you. I think you're the prettiest woman I've ever seen, and I want to get to you better."

"I…I..." I mumbled. My heart was pounding in my chest. "I don't know how to be gay. I have only told people online, behind screen names and proxy servers. Never, never like this."

"Zarya, it's fine," she smiled gently. "I've been there. If you need to take your time, just say so. But if you want to try being out in the open, I'm right here. And you know that you can always talk to Angela or Fareeha."

She looked at me, and I couldn't help but look at her. The next thing I knew, tiny little Mei had wrapped her arms around me.

"This isn't Russia. You can be who you really are here."

I missed my country. I missed being in the fight. But maybe being here wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it could be great, even.

My orders were to get Overwatch back into the Omnic Crisis. It was a long game, so maybe I could take my time and truly enjoy this safe place.

"I know you're not ready to be very open," Mei said, "so I want to apologize."

"Apologize? For what?"

The next thing I knew, she was kissing me. A quick peck on the lips, but it felt like the entire world was slamming to a halt.

"I promised myself that I would kiss the next pretty girl I saw," she smiled. "Sorry, but I want to keep this promise."

It felt like I was going to burst into flames.

"When you're ready for anything, please tell me," she smiled. "And please don't think any less of me for stealing that kiss."

I've never been kissed before.

It felt right.

I watched her leave. My orders could wait. I wanted to feel this again, to be wanted and desired. Come whatever may, I would fight for this feeling, for this place.


End file.
